The First Sin

I started reading Genesis again today. Sometimes I like to go back to the beginning. It is interesting to see what you notice, when you read at different times of your life. As I read the second chapter, these verses jumped out at me. 

Genesis 2:15-24

New Living Translation (NLT)

¹⁵ The Lord God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it. ¹⁶ But the Lord God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden— ¹⁷ except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.”
¹⁸ Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” ¹⁹ So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man^[a] to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. ²⁰ He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.
²¹ So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs^[d] and closed up the opening. ²² Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.
²³ “At last!” the man exclaimed.

“This one is bone from my bone,
    and flesh from my flesh!
She will be called ‘woman,’
    because she was taken from ‘man.’”

²⁴ This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

Yes, I have known this story since pre-K Sunday School. I always saw it as just the order of creation, but today I saw something else. 

Eve's sin was the first time a woman rebelled against her husband; she wasn't yet created when God told Adam what they could eat and to stay away from that particular tree. Adam was the one to pass that information on to Eve, because he heard from God and knew it was truth. As we know, Eve was beguiled by the serpent, and Adam was beguiled by his wife, but, as I read that, I thought of how often we, as wives, think we know better than our husbands, and even after he has made a decision, we not only disobey, but we work fervently to convince him why we are right. 

Why does scripture tell us repeatedly to submit to the authority of our husbands? Because, since the beginning of time, we have usurped that authority. What a crafty enemy was Satan to put a curse on women to cause us to believe we knew more than God, and more than our husbands, for whom God created us. 

As I speak across the country, I hear women say, "If my husband were more godly, it would be easier for me to submit." 

Really? Could we have a more godly husband than Adam, a man who had never known sin to that point. Let's look at the attributes of Adam for a moment. 

We know from scripture that he was made in the image of God by God's own hand. The only man we know of, to never pass through a mother's womb. We know he did not know sin. He didn't even know about sin, so there was no abuse, no neglect and no adultery in that relationship. He didn't struggle with pornography, overeating, or spending too much time at the office. He walked and talked with God in an extremely personal relationship. Adam was likely the most godly man in the history of the world, besides Jesus, of course. But, he was created, as we all are, with free-will. And, Adam loved his wife. 

What do we know about Eve? She was created from Adam's rib, she was lovely to him, and she also walked and talked with God. Like Adam, she was created with free-will. 
Then comes the third player - Satan. Some believe he took the form of a serpent, I rather believe he possessed the serpent. Either way, his plan was not simply to destroy Eve and lead her to eternal death. His plan was to destroy God's plan for mankind, and  he knew the destruction of the family God created was key to the stronghold he would place on all of us. He may not have known he was defeated, until the resurrection of Christ, many centuries later, but he knew he didn't want these newly created beings to spend eternity with God. He was already kicked out, already filled with rebellion and already the opposite of all that was good. 

God created women with a need to be loved and desired. It is that need that should draw us to our husbands in love and respect for them. When we honor the man God gives us, we are more likely to receive the kind of love we crave. But, we live in a fallen world and that isn't always what happens in our lives. Why? Is it because Eve at a piece of fruit and suddenly knew she was naked? Was it because she took the fruit to Adam, and he ate it too? 

I don't think so. I think the first sin was the rebellion of Eve against her husband; followed by the fact that she forgot her authority; the authority God gave mankind over the other creation in the Garden. A serpent should not have been able to convince her of anything, because she and Adam were given dominion over the animals. Finally, their sin of disobedience to God sealed the deal. God never wanted us to know sin. He wanted us to be protected from the pain and anguish that comes with spiritual death.

So what does that mean for me? For you? Ladies, we cannot take sin from the world. But, we can guard our hearts against the rebellion that tells us to usurp the authority God gave our husbands for our lives. We can honor the one to whom we are supposed to be the help mate (meet). We can stay in constant prayer and study of God's Word so that we can fight temptation from the enemy of our souls, no matter what form he takes or what beguiling thing he decides to possess. We who are in Christ,under the new covenant provided by Jesus, have authority over sin and death. We don't have to be bound by it. Jesus broke the curse that bound us to sin. Let's walk in it. 

Minutes in the Mancave

Man-cave - A man cave (also sometimes mantuary) is a male sanctuary, such as a specially equipped garage, spare bedroom, media room, den, or basement. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mancave

We have a man-cave in our house. It is a room that I seldom enter. It is completely ruled by the testosterone king, aka my sweet hubby. By his request, I enter the man cave only when invited. Its door is hallowed and it's floors are sacred. Okay, well it's more like the door is always closed because the floors are littered with junk mail and Cabella's catalogs. If I dare throw any of it away, I am sure to toss something that he was going to use, or needed as reference for his next purchase of a hunting rifle, buck knife or fishing reel. 

At first it was difficult for me to let go of control. The man cave was once known as our charming guest room. I spent hours picking out the color, the Americana/rustic decor and the most comfortable mattress for the custom antique bed. I guess I did a great job, because he immediately found the room cozy and inviting. I didn't think much of it when he added the TV, and then the small fridge to the room. How nice that would be for our guests. 

It is no longer a guest room. In fact, in the eyes of my man, it is clearly not my responsibility and not my domain, even for cleaning. So, generally, the dust piles up, socks can get lost under furniture and his mini fridge is untouched by the magic scrub brush. It is his. He takes pride in the fact that I respect his space. Once a month, or so, I see him hauling trash out and he asked me for a broom and dustpan last year. I'm proud of him for taking that responsibility for himself. He even washed the slipcover from his recliner last summer. 

As difficult as it is for me to keep the vacuum cleaner at bay. I don't enter the place of solace he so dearly loves. I never mention the burning desire to clean that room. I try very hard not to suggest new wall decor or mention the fact that the curtains are sometimes pulled crooked.  

The contents of the man cave will not change my eternity. So, I just leave them to the master and his wisdom of the manly. I don't have the power to revoke his man card for a lack of spit spot on the windowsill. In fact, I don't think it is within my authority, to revoke a man card, at all. 

Aside from the need for a deep cleaning, I wondered what secrets the man cave held. Why was this room so private? Why did he need a room off limits from everyone, namely me?  I knew what was right in a room, what was acceptable as entertainment and basically, what should be done, and I was fully prepared to share that information with my darling. He wasn't interested, and the more I pushed for man-cave permission, the more he guarded his hideaway. 

I waited for my opportunity to enter, when I knew he wasn't home and couldn't catch me entering or exiting the passageway to all things masculine. As he pulled out of the driveway for a weekend hunting get-away, I gathered the courage to enter the realm of the unknown, mentally and emotionally prepared for whatever I might find. 

 I poked around the piles of hunting gear, fishing tackle, outdoor magazines, books about collectible cars and rebuilding engines. My eyes caught a glimpse of his Bible next to his recliner. It didn't take long for me to realize the only dirt I was going to find on my hubby, was the layer of dust on the contents of the man cave, the rings from glasses used sans coasters and the aluminum cans tumbling out of the recycle bin. (Wow, he has a recycle bin!) There was no mystery. There was no secret that needed to be exposed and no horrible private sin that needed to be corrected. I breathed a sigh of guilty relief and left the room - exactly as I found it. 

I walked around with a smile on my face, charmed by the complete innocence of the man cave. It was simply filled with the trappings of a man being a man. My smile faded when I realized I had not been Godly or loving in my desire to search the man cave. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

I was looking for a wrong that wasn't even there. I didn't give my husband the credit or respect to believe the best about him. I assumed, since he didn't want me to mess with his stuff, he had something to hide. He didn't. 

My take away from my minutes in the man cave will stay with me for the rest of my life. It is not my place to police my husband. I cannot see his heart, any more than I can see what is under the stacks of stuff he calls good. I cannot be his Holy Spirit and I cannot convict him of sin or errors in his heart or mind. It is simply not my job. I am called to be his partner, his help-mate. I am called to build him up, respect his authority and love him, unconditionally. His walk with the Lord may not always look like mine. The places he falls will be different than the places that make me stumble. But I don't have to tell him how hard he fell. He knows. I simply have to reach out to him with the love of Christ, and hold his hand while he brushes off the dust to take his next step forward. 

The man cave is one of my favorite rooms in our home. It brings me great joy, even though I never step inside without the invitation of the cave dweller. It is the place of solitude where my sweet husband finds rest and peace in the midst of a busy world.


*Check out my friend Lee Warren's blog, The Spiritual Man Cave!

Free To Be Clean

Sometimes we need to take a break, get alone with God and let Him show us areas of our life He wants to deal with. I was led to take a little hiatus this summer and really sit at the feet of the Lord and LISTEN. Well, some of it I liked a lot, some made me cry tears of repentance and some left me saying, "Wow God."

No matter who we are, or what we do, we all have a primary ministry if we are married or mothers or both. That is a ministry to our family. I have always known that, but knowing and doing is sometimes different. For example, praying for my husband and giving him encouragement from the Word is easy for me. Keeping a very clean, and organized home, is NOT easy for me. In all of my busyness over the past couple of years of conferences, new book releases and helping others start their ministries, I had neglected the thing that makes my husband happy; a clean and organized house. And boy, when you begin to let things go, they snowball pretty fast. Those were the tears of repentance. Personally, my home was a disaster and my family felt neglected.

Thankfully, God always provides what we need when He sends us to a task. He provided a wonderful friend, Tabatha, who is amazing at organization and cleaning, and she, Melissa (my personal assistant) and I went to work. We donated, we threw out, we organized, and we scrubbed. I cannot tell you how much freedom there is in a clean house. There are still a few nooks and crannies to de-clutter and clean, but overall, it is transformed to what it should have been in the first place. My husband is already happier and I am so much happier.  Now, rather than having a huge cloud hanging over my head when I walk in the door, exhausted, and see the mess. I can spend 15 minutes a day keeping things picked up, swept, etc. And when my husband walks in, he can see that I love him, even if I’m not here to tell him.

The summer hiatus for renewal is almost over and I will be back to writing and ministry full swing, with my short cleaning breaks in between.

I write this because I know I’m not alone. As I posted updates on facebook, there was an outcry from women saying how much they admired my energy, or organization. They wanted to get motivated, but they could not; they didn’t know where to start. The responses went on and on, often from women I thought were far better in this area than I am. Most of them were private messages because they were too ashamed to admit their lack of zeal for their homes in public.

It broke my heart for my friends and for women in general. When did we go from June Cleaver to master hoarders? How did we allow the enemy to inflict something into our homes that would burden us with such guilt and feelings of failure?

2 Corinthians 10:4-5

New King James Version (NKJV)

For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.

Does this scripture apply here? I believe it does. When the enemy of our souls uses something to heap guilt and shame upon our minds, it is spiritual warfare. Cleaning my house was not the weapon that freed my mind from the guilt. Time with God, time in His Word, and surrendering this area of my life to the Holy Spirit is what resulted in freedom. I then had the release to ask for help. It was only after the guilt was not holding me in chains that I could do the things in the physical that needed to be done. It all started in the spiritual.

 We, as women, get so busy doing all of the things we are supposed to be doing, that we often forget the most important parts of our life. We forget that everything in the natural is directly affected by things in the spiritual. It’s not a battle over dust-bunnies. It is a battle for our families. There are six things I have to do each day, no matter where I am or what is going on. When I allow God to lead my thoughts and actions toward my family, I defeat the attack of the enemy that says to neglect them before it even comes my way.

• 1.       I must pray for my heart to be right in every situation.
• 2.       I must forgive any offense I have encountered from my family.
• 3.       I must pray for my husband; that God would guard his heart, prosper his work and cover him with protection. (If you have children, pray the same for them.)
• 4.       I must consider first, what the needs of my home are for the day.
• 5.       I must communicate my love for my family in a language they will understand.
• 6.       I must take personal inventory of my heart and allow God to purge anything that would get in the way of what HE wants to do in me that day. 

As women, especially wives and mothers, we are given a responsibility to be the caregivers of those in our homes. It’s not just about a clean house.  It’s about showing them our love through the giving of our time and our commitment to them. It’s about knowing that they are the most important to us because they are so important to God. It is truly the ministry of being a wife, or a mother, or both. We are called and ordained to it, now, let’s do it.